beauty

I’ve been thinking a lot about what makes something, someone, beautiful

Top of my list usually include symmetrical eyebrows, pastel skies, contiguous laughs, and home cooked meals.

Lately, I’ve been trying to reach deeper levels of acceptance. Of love. Not only for others, but for myself. I want to catch myself before I say “when I was skinny” I stop talking as I say “back when my hair was long” I stay quiet instead of remarking on the extra meal I indulged in. Why bring this up. Who feels better when a person around them constantly slashes themselves at the knees. I know there’s a balance somewhere, between humble acceptance of your current state and a striving to become more, knowing you’re capable of putting forth a greater effort. I want to say this greater effort has to be for the greater good. At least for another individual. Self improvement can only get you as far as the people around you are able to celebrate around you, when you allow yourself to accept a joyous uplifting. Its fun! Community means something. It can mean everything if you allow it. It’s letting in the good, letting in light, and knowing moments of happiness, whether you yearn for its permanence or acknowledge its fleeting nature is still a moment of happiness.

I challenge myself with the question, “how hard are you willing to work”

I don’t have an answer to that. I know there are moments where I feel inexplicably connected to a greater purpose and I know that there are days I feel like I’m floating, completely loose from any source of some validation mechanism. It feels like I have to commit to one side of the other. Our everyday loves to tell us to fall “all in” on something, anything… BE PASSIONATE - they scream. But I believe there are small pieces, little sources of light, that in a world chaotic updates and frenzied news, that power us to our next moment.

So, to revise my previous list, beauty includes

• a smile after eye contact

• holding the door, past the point of comfort

• recognizing your friend needs a breath of air, and allowing them to take it

• helping another for the sake of helping another, without any expectation of social credit.

• listening

• tears falling down your left cheek from laying on your side too long

I feel very grateful for the following songs today, a Monday night.

• The Flood by Josh Hyslop

• Shades of Green by Timo Sargent

• Hannah by Ray LaMontagne