why does interest lead to such intense vulnerabilities?
why is being selfish so much easier? Its too easy to think about everything going on in my head... because its me, my thoughts, my frustrations, my, my, my... I feel way self-obsessed while writing. There's a quote I remember from a while ago, "writing is taking while reading is learning"... of course, my ideas aren't "there" in any way, but I'd like to think writing is a little more giving more than taking.
weird how we can imagine a situation, a trip, a person to be so whole, pure and easy. I forget that whole, pure, and easy feelings may still exist and more if practiced. I want to stop expecting, and I want to start doing. I want to allow myself to be completely passionate about ideas and places and people, but I don't want to equate productivity with success.
Am I lingering too long?
on a walk.
cars keep passing and
interrupting peace
so I put on a choppy song
and now I fit in!
Do you ever get mad when
you overthink an interaction
and think maybe something is a different way than it is?
draining!
4:10-4:30 piano of Soulfight by the Revivalists
or Wasting Time by Nathaniel Rateliff & The Night Sweats
It’s wild you bring this up because I just got done talking about my thoughts on human nature with a friend just the other day. We are all inherently selfish, but the crazy thing is that being selfish is not always a negative. I can selfishly want the best for you or someone else. So now I sit here and wonder the same thing. Except I can’t figure out why I exhaust myself over something that I have no control over. Why does vanilla also smell so damn good?