running.
I missed this!!! If you hate running while at wp, I highly advise the 2 ACL reconstruction route. Totally guaranteed to reduce mileage. I ran for the first time in nearly 6 months (the second time) about a week ago I took to the sidewalks... treadmills can only hold me for about one run... and immediately felt knock kneed. Everything was bowing out or caving in, limbs moving in odd, unfamiliar directions. Imagine a toddler perhaps, fiercely running toward the swingset. But I wasn't out of breath, and I couldn't stop smiling. I wanted to give that ski-shout, the one you let slip when the fresh powder glides beneath your board and nothing has ever felt that smooth. I missed the feeling of control running gives me.
I've never been terribly talented in the running scene. I have always gotten by, but I never quite hit the times I wished to. Quarantine was a humbling experience: my father doing LAPS around me as i stumbled along the gravel road for the four mile round trip. His heartrate at an easy 120, mine racking up close to my max. Luckily, my dad enjoys chatting while running, so my unconditioned breaths were forgotten under his analysis on some international politics and happenings around the world.
fun fact: I cried in the middle of central park as I failed to keep up a decent pace whilst running with my (now ex) lover. I sat down on a park bench and pulled at my hair and aptly decided my day was ruined because of a run... not my finest moment. sorry eric! I had convinced myself that I should be in peak condition, despite returning to running only am month or so prior (1st acl set back)... it makes me cringe and laugh through my nose when I think about how I let those inconsistencies rule my world. I don't make a certain pace... OK... try again tomorrow.
But then.... there's that time where I ran down to North Dock as the sun was setting and the breeze was just perfectly positioned so it was pushing my baby hairs up and away from my face and my legs felt strong, my lungs were full, and i distinctly remember thinking: ok this is it. this is why people feel alive and free when they run. like nothing can catch them, nothing can distract them from this magnetic feeling of freedom.
Granted, this feeling left me as soon as I faced the uphill back to the barracks, but for a moment, it was there and I was in it.
running, you have my heart. always.