I don't mind the seasons. I like the relief of fall, ease of winter, anticipation of spring, and possibility of summer.
I would get bored with the same view over and over. I was recently reminded there are so many seasons within life. Some days, some months, we get to focus on work a little more, others, love a little more.
I have been getting wrapped up in getting better physically for a long time, it feels like a never ending climb to dissatisfaction, because no one can log on to strava and feel satisfied after playing the comparison of peaks summitted or miles ridden. I am where I am. Its ok to keep pushing, but I don't want to let that push away other experiences I want to live and people I want to love.
Writing is such a funny thing, because I want to be able to express original ideas or share a thought train through words on a screen or paper, but oftentimes my mind feels completely melded into a tangle of half baked revelations, and haven't these already been shared 50 times over again by those with grander life experience and perspective? I like the moments when I can turn off my brain and write and something legible comes out. I come out feeling a little weight off the shoulders, but still walking in a crooked line. Reminds me of Amos Lee's 'Crooked'
Im keeping a note in my notes app titled "bank of quotes and ideas I want to embrace fully". I look up to this runner. He said "this is not for my present self, this is for my past and future self" i take advantage of the strength behind this idea when the present is feeling particularly extraneous. He referenced Albert Camus' myth of Sisyphus and his eternal damnation of futile toil (rock up a hill) and how running can relate to endless hours of (seemingly) endless struggle. But it's a struggle we choose! And we get to find the light in the little moments to push forward.
Speaking of Albert Camus, this quote is in my top three (of all time), and I can't mention his work without leaving you with this on your mind:
“In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer.
And that makes me happy. For it says that no matter how hard the world pushes against me, within me, there’s something stronger – something better, pushing right back.”
add Crooked by Amos Lee to your July playlist. Won't disappoint!
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