last night's real life journal entry

**imagine in scrawling handwriting with a few pen smudges.

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Yes, its true. oh my god. How am I a real person. I think I must be the most awkward human in the world... ok this may be giving myself too much credit, but you know what I mean. Sometimes, actually especially when it seems to matter- I become the most robotic human- cringing both internally and externally.

I have that feeling that makes my hands clench and toes curl out of discomfort from remembering a conversation or my uncalled for mannerisms that don't quite make sense. why. so gross, annie. I know most of its in my head, but it honestly its all so... bleh. I wish I could candidly communicate without this fun little nausea feeling. I feel 14 sometimes, but I'm 22. I'm an adult. I can do this.

be normal. ish? normal, but still be you? weird balance, yeah? help.

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for calm : Caamp's new cover of Tom Petty's Square One

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iLNogocKAgE