I can tell you what road I was driving down when i hard where the light is for the fifth time. I know what week and how I was feeling when I show what song I had on repeat for the 5 days. I have a story behind my playlists and songs, and feelings that feel so thick sometimes I think I have to push away from them in a panic. Here’s a summary of summer through songs. I am thankful we have music.
Worn down woman: I listened to this during every single May time 4am run. Every single time I thought: yes, this is me. i am the work down woman. And then another part of me thought, how is this possible? I’m 23 and barely three months into my first job and I want to dig my grave right here in these endless German fields.
Let it breath: I sent this to kb and she said it felt like a sigh, a deep breath, perhaps someone just sitting and thinking. And every time I listened to it driving to work, driving home, I could feel the shoulders drop, left foot start tapping (when not struggling with the clutch, because don’t forget! I drive stick now and it’s a super important part of my personality complex)
Corinthians (Proctor’s) played during my first century ride. Mile 67 and I was on the down hill off of Illisheim, and I was really happy. I was singing along, but the kind where you’re not really singing because you don’t quite now the words yet, but you have to keep mumbling along because you know the song means something to you already
Where the Light is: This was a song that was on repeated upwards of 5x per drive (to/from work) so you know, in a 19 minute time span. I really like this song. It feels like doors opening up on a spring day. It feels like someone realizing what they want and how they want to follow it.
Hardwood floors: I like this song. I love this artist. but I am intimidated by the fact that this song and artist already holds a specific memory for someone else with someone else.
Shades of Green: I don’t know why but this song is incredibly romantic to me. Maybe it’s because you can tell the ache he feels as he’s trying to get to know another. No detail is enough, and there’s always more needed/wanted/stretched for. “I don’t know which surface you most prefer riding your bike over: cobblestone? Fresh asphalt? Are you a nice find gravel in the woods kinda person? How do I not know that?”
I think this song reminds me of my favorite conversations and that’s why it was a summer favorite.
A million bucks on a queen motel bed: it feels hopeless and hopeful. Giving up and in but never folding. There’s that rise at 2:44 that makes you remember you may just have a second wave in you, somewhere, deep, deep inside.
Stick season: makes me sad and makes my heart ache a bit. The sign of a perfect song.
“Once called me forever and still can’t call me back”
It’s makes you sigh and sing and reflect and yell and slam your steering wheel as you fly too fast through the overpass thinking about how close that other lane is.
twenty so: I told someone recently after they asked me how I am doing “I am existing in my twenties and that’s about all that I can give you”
I like how it shows you the innocence of youth, the relentless love of youth, the reckless tendencies of looking back and regretting or looking back and loving.
“the saddest times of twenty-so”
I actually JUST LEARNED it’s the “savage times of twenty-so” it’s truly all about perspective I see I see
Melancholy hill: thanks trevor :) this really hits you any time you want you head to relax and let go. stop worrying! It’s really is fine. You are ok. I was sitting under a street light after dinner and I leaned my head back at the sky and told myself out-loud. I am ok. I am fine. Everything is fine.
And none of those were lies.
Linda James: thanks chase :) I think this song helped change my life. I can’t tell exactly how. Or what the steps are to get there, but i feel like this song is a fairly accurate guidebook for life.
“It’s amazing how love just ripples out and we get to watch it all grow”
It’s 5:09 but it feels like a 2:30 minute song.
Moon in Oklahoma:
I am homesick for Oklahoma. I miss the skies. I miss the endless fast food restaurants that I love to hate. I love those railroad tracks. I miss the western facing sky and the gravel dust near the corn fields that make for such easy running.
“I’ll keep ya like I stole ya” makes me feel like the love is clenched. nervous, but so, so, utterly pure.
Lost without you: this song makes me tremble. Not really, but my heart feels this song each time. You know what I’m talking about? When you feel a song, and I mean FEEL that song. You could look someone in the eyes and tell them this story and it’s truly coming from your lips.
summer in songs. dreamy days in the rearview.
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