top five strengths

I took a 240 question test tonight that claimed to expose and expand my top five character strengths. Following a little reflection, we'll see just how this exposition truly went.

Strength #1: Gratitude -

"You are aware of the good things that happen to you, and you never take them for granted. Your friends and family members know that you are a grateful person because you always take the time to express your thanks."

If my friends and family are reading this and they call bullshit on this, just let me know- post it in the comments, text me your outrage! call me! Wait, I'll call you, and I'll THANK you for your honesty. I think that I try my best on this one. I understand I am extraordinarily lucky to be surrounded by so many people that truly love and care about me, themselves, family, humans to their left and right, the earth and all its animals... it goes on. I don't say it enough though, how can you? I am overwhelmingly blessed to be adorned (I know I'm using passive voice here but I am too tired to figure it out) by all this love. Regardless on how I am hung up on frivolous issues in my own life- people are there to listen to me, to provide support, and for that I am extremely grateful.

Strength #2: Curiosity and interest in the world -

"You are curious about everything. You are always asking questions, and you find all subjects and topics fascinating. You like exploration and discovery."

I find this ironic, because ever since February I have genuinely wanted to curl into a hole and never talk to anyone new. I believe my extreme resistance to moving to Germany has a lot to with how I got here. It was an emotional state, but I also recognize how it's absolutely gorgeous here. Am I actively trying to find a way to propel me in a different direction professionally? perhaps. But, I can appreciate little pieces of adventure. I have become more comfortable being alone. More comfortable, or at least more aware, of being uncomfortable in previously common or safe scenarios. Like ordering a coffee, or asking for directions, or just walking down the walking path in a tank top while the rest of the Germans are wearing their winter ski outfits. Just different perspectives. People haven't gotten worse- I just became very shy and sensitive during 2022.

Strength #3: Appreciation of beauty and excellence -

"You notice and appreciate beauty, excellence, and/or skilled performance in all domains of life, from nature to art to mathematics to science to everyday experience."

This, I admit, I do quite well. Particularly, the sky. I can never get enough. Have you noticed nearly every poem on here is about the sky? or the sun, or the sunset or rise. Its never ending and I feel that we are indubitably called to appreciate that kind of beauty. Its a pause on the walk to the car, or as you go to the gym, or getting to formation, or smiling at the silent still of the early morning stars. Small pieces, but I think collectively, they power me through my day. They make me excited to get up in the morning. I like sharing these moments with others. I love when others share these moments with me.

Strength #4: Industry, diligence, and perseverance -

"You work hard to finish what you start. No matter the project, you "get it out the door" in timely fashion. You do not get distracted when you work, and you take satisfaction in completing tasks."

I mean, I do often get distracted wile I work, but that is really because my Outlook will take ten minutes to load, then another ten minutes to send an email-OOP, wait, it never sent, and its sitting in your outbox five hours later. great. But overall, I believe this one is pretty up there. I feel myself surge with energy and a (small bit) of anger when I see something hasn't been completed or a deadline or test is looming in the distance with no actionable pathway towards it. My least favorite feeling is when this feels within reach, tangible, almost, but without that last 8% effort- everything can fall through. Embarrassing to say, but I never have thought of myself of a "clutch" person. But I am tired of feeling like this- I htink the most valuable trait I have discovered about myself in the last 12 months is that I am persistent. I am good at following through on actions that I commit to and to asking the people around me to do the same (the latter part I am still working on improving), but it is amazing to see people react to someone maintaining contact, having follow-through... caring enough to reach out. I like that, and I hope I can be in a position where people reach out to me for help, and I can be impressed with their consistency down the road.

Strength #5: Kindness and generosity - "You are kind and generous to others, and you are never too busy to do a favor. You enjoy doing good deeds for others, even if you do not know them well."

This makes me nervous to put on here, mostly because I believe the people that are clsoest to me, get the absolute worst version of Annie Wheat there is. You get me when I'm crying on the phone, non-stop complaining, repeating myself or my goals over and over and patiently listening and I may get around to asking about you and your day, but maybe not. I am sorry to everyone that I feel I have abused their own kindness and generosity with, but I hope I let you know I notice it, and I appreciate you for it. I want to do better at this in general, so I think its interesting that popped in as a strength maybe that's why its ranked last too... I love seeing people smile, I love delivering coffee, I love making people laugh, I think even better though is hearing their real laugh- the kind that everyone's a little embarrassed about and try to hide subconsciously but whatever was just said was too good to go unnoticed, so the snort or the wheeze or the gaufaaah (?) escapes. I'm a wheezer. I stop breathing when it gets too funny, but I swear those moments are good ones to live for.

As always, I did not proofread this or go over it past first glance- to do so would be breaking the cardinal rule of this platform.

And mom and dad, I got a new tattoo! this one is biiig. But not too big. Don't worry :)