laps

Today, I went on the most beautiful run of my life. This is no overstatement. This is me, looking back at how I felt during a run. This is me, knowing that I this was a special moment while on the run. Today, a beautiful person left this earth. Today, I am thankful I am on this earth. Each lap around buffalo soldier field felt a little bit stronger, a little more supported, a little better with each breath. But everything is relative to an extent... I sobbed going around the bowling corner. Overwhelmed with the day and emotions no doubt, but I don't think there was any better place to be in that moment. breathing

in: right, left

out: right, left

The clouds were scattered in their late evening pattern. I kept wanting to bring out my phone to capture the moment, but every time I thought of pulling it out I thought of all the reasons I should just soak up where I am now. How I am feeling now. I feel guilty I am alive. I feel lucky I am alive. Terrible things happen to wonderful people, but these things cannot and should not deter our existence. I feel grateful and delighted to be here: barefeet on the dirty tile floor, right here, and I am extremely sad at the same time. We can be sadly delighted. I don't want to underlive by overthinking\\ tricky messes though

Some dreamy friends reminded me of the power of human contact: new/old, spicy/sweet, rapt/drawn out... do experiences still count if not shared? I mean, sure, but I don't think they are ever quite as heavenly.

Loving you from here, A.