headspace

messy.

like a desk's open space,

or a corner chair in the room,

whatever's left uncovered is quickly crowded.

Rushed notes and forgotten ideas

scatter my brain.

Sweeping the crumbs off the side,

pulling the stray hair from the cord,

homeless bobby pins

and the tangled necklace.

The laptop screen is smudged.

Do you ever have that one thing that keeps reappearing

And you're able to consistently ignore any urge to complete it.

Sitting... sit up straight !

Freezing and losing time hunched over work and mangled assignments

crumpled and thrown aside.

I remind myself I am no piece of paper.

I am proud of myself today. I went on two runs. two good runs. two runs, one day... for some reason I never had any faith my running would return after this last knee surg... I had nearly resigned to 3 hour walks for the rest of my life... but no, there was one in the morning and one in the afternoon. Neither held expectation and I was just appreciating my legs beneath me... have you ever literally exclaimed (to yourself) (out loud) (in blatant public space):

"(own name)!! you fucking killed that! I am proud of you." Its cute.

I would rather not derive my self-worth off how I can run, but when I can run... It doesn't seem like a half-bad measurement. oops.

17 days until this dreary little blog reaches completion, but I swear, I SWEAR that the next 17 are going to be just blooming with positivity... just wait <<<333